Or do people need to stop trying to read so deeply into every little thing and making it about them?
Let me explain…
I saw this article on Bright Side’s website.
And it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Mainly because a lot of these so-called body language signs, are things I do naturally without thinking of anybody else.
Like checking myself in the mirror and checking my clothes and makeup often.
I don’t often get dolled up in makeup and nice clothes but when I do, I check myself a lot because I want the effort I put forth to be worth it by lasting longer than a few minutes. Or at least last longer than it took me to get that pretty.
Then there’s the standing or sitting up straight showing one’s breasts. I stand or sit up like that when I’m feeling confident and if my breasts show it’s because of what I’m wearing, the size of my breasts and the fact that I’m not hunched over due to self-consciousness.
And the daggling my shoe off my toe? I do that when I’m fidgety and don’t want to wear my shoes because my feet are hot, which happens a lot.
When I stick my thumb in my belt, or belt loops or somewhere around my bra straps, it’s usually to adjust something or give myself some relief from wearing something that’s cutting off my circulation (mainly because I’m too cheap to buy new clothes just because I’ve gained some weight).
When I can’t keep my hands off my hair and I keep twisting it, it’s because my hair is feeling super fabulously healthy and I just love the feel of it in my hands. I’m not thinking one bit about how it looks to other people.
So, does this mean, I should cut out all of these behaviors to keep from giving the wrong impression to guys who have either read this article or just naturally mistake my confidence for interest?
That’s what it feels like to me.
This reminds me of this time I was eating a bomb pop popsicle and this guy was making lewd comments at me as I was trying to keep it from melting all over my clothes. Then a guy friend of mine who was with me whispered in my ear to “stop enticing him”.
I just wanted to kick both of those assholes in the balls so bad in that moment. But instead I just walked away. I mean seriously, how the hell else am I supposed to eat a popsicle on a hot day?! And in what way was any of that MY fault that the dirty old man was such a sleezebag to think it was okay to talk to me like that?!
This article really set me off and made me feel horrible. Mainly because I’m sick of guys who mistake my kindness or common courtesy as flirting. I’m also sick to death of having this conversation:
“How about I give you my number and you can call me sometime?”
“No thank you.”
“Because I don’t want to call you.”
“I just wanna talk to you. Nothing wrong with talking.”
“Well, I’m talking to you right now and I don’t want to talk to you again.”
“Why not? Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Yes, I have a boyfriend.”
“Well, why didn’t you just tell me that was why?”
“Because that wasn’t why. I’m just not interested and my boyfriend has nothing to do with who I talk to on the phone.”
SERIOUSLY!!!!!! That’s not even an exaggeration. I’ve had that exact conversation with several men in my lifetime. And every time it’s been after I was polite to them out in public like waiting for the bus, or waiting in line somewhere.
So, naturally I just found this list annoying because I feel like it must be my fault for “giving the wrong impression”.
I don’t know. What do you think? Am I just weird? Or do people need to stop thinking just because someone they’re attracted to is nice to them, it automatically means they’re interested?