(Ha! It’s the return of the song title blog titles!)
I noticed during my stay here in this shelter that there are a lot of women with severe mental health issues. And the ones without similar problems are so harsh and judgmental towards them and I find that to be the worst thing about my situation.
I went off on a woman named Shania. I heard her complaining about a woman with multiple personalities in the bathroom. The woman was right there in the next stall and she’s complaining about her and talking mad shit about her. As if she couldn’t hear her. I felt for the poor woman so I went off on Shania.
I told her, “How judgmental of you.”
She responded with, “Judgmental? They don’t belong here. They belong in a facility where they can be monitored 24 hours.”
“Oh, you mean prison?” was my reply.
“No. I mean a place where they can get help.”
I told her, “NO ONE belongs in a homeless shelter, Shania. NO ONE belongs in the streets. I don’t belong here. I belong in my own place with my children. And that woman belongs in a safe and loving home. Those places don’t exist anymore because of all the abuse the patients kept suffering from the staff. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Besides, you know how many people have said that same thing about you?”
She didn’t relent and we parted ways without seeing eye to eye but I’m glad I said something to her.
I makes me absolutely sick to see other homeless people act like they’re any better than someone else. The drunk judging the crackhead, the K2 zombie judging the crackhead. It’s absolutely disgusting to me.
We’re ALL homeless. And we’re ALL in this shelter because of a combination of uncontrollable circumstances and our own decisions (like how we reacted to the circumstances for example).
I should have taken Jiraiya and left Mr. J a long time ago because we’re both screwed up because of the time we lived with him. I shouldn’t have tried conforming to any of his parenting styles because it destroyed me inside trying to be like him. I shouldn’t have let him back in once I threw him out of the shelter the very first time. I shouldn have just taken Jem and Jiraiya and left that morning they were taken instead of calling Green Door and telling them how I really felt and getting sent to CPEP.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Every last one of us homeless people has the same damn theme. Different stories but all the same theme.
Homelessness does not have a face.