It’s been brought to my attention by my counselor that I’m experiencing some post partum since having Jem. So, I’m shifting my focus to myself and improving myself as a wife and mother.
And most people know about the feeling of not wanting to get up out of bed. The lack of energy. The pain and soreness without external cause. The mood swings. Well, what does that look like? I’ll tell you what it looks like. It looks like a damn trainwreck. And even people who call themselves openly discussing depression still sugar coat it.
Even in the commercials about depression, the person with depression still has a clean ass house. They look like they’ve showered recently. Or at least sometime within the last day. Hell, they even have clean clothes on. Some of the women in the commercials even look like they bothered to put on some makeup. They sometimes show the person in he midst of people but “feeling” isolated.
Hell, no. Depression is ugly. It’s not something that makes it easy for people to approach you. When you haven’t done anything for days but lie in bed feeling numb and tired and occasionally sad, people tend to distance themselves from you. Why? Because you stink, bitch! Of course people aren’t going to offer you a damn hug when you haven’t showered in a few days or bothered to do the laundry.
When your mood keeps swinging, it’s tiresome to deal with you. Depression doesn’t just make you “feel” isolated. It does isolate you.
I’m not saying it’s that extreme. I’m just saying it tends to put walls up around us that we didn’t ask to be built.
Depression is ugly business. And, me being to open book that I am, I want to share my journey with you all as best I can.
I say ‘as best I can’ because the lack motivation and ability to focus tends to get in the way of my blogging among other things.
This is what I wore to a Christmas party we took the kids to today.
And this is what Jem wore.
And I just realized I don’t have a good shot of Jiraiya’s outfit.
He had a shirt on underneath that shirt that said “Holiday Hunk”