I do need him.  Or at least I want him very badly.  I want him to hold me right now.  I want him to kiss me brainless like he tried to earlier but I stopped him.
But now I want his kisses.
I want to show him that I notice what good he’s done and that I appreciate it all.  I want my body to stop hurting so that I can hold him as tight as I want to.
God I hate hormones.
I want to show him that I do love him and that I do see the good in him even though all I’ve done lately is gripe about his flaws.  I’m just in so much pain, I can’t even stand it.  And I’ve always had a freakishly high pain threshold when it came to pains of this nature.  And even then, I was never the type to cry over physical pain.  Now I’m laying here writhing in agony and crying like a little bitch while he works on building a bike.
He knows he can’t hold me because it hurts.  So that’s what he’s doing instead.  He’s offered up the D as a miracle cure earlier and I actually had to turn him down.  That’s still killing me.
I’m the worst part of this is, I don’t remember what the contractions felt like at first with Jiraiya.  All I remember is when they got really bad.  Until then, I didn’t even know I was in labor.
God….. I am so not going through that same crap from earlier this month all over again.  I’m not leaving here until it’s damn near too late just like with Jiraiya.
I’ll keep y’all posted.  ♡

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