I recently had a brief interaction with someone on Facebook that ended with me getting butthurt and blocking them.  Not the most mature of responses but I’m working on that annoying habit of avoiding confrontation.
Well, anyway, I am rarely on Facebook anymore and when I am, I’m mostly on my page and not even looking at my personal timeline.  Usually, if I am on my personal profile, it’s because I’m about to log off and check to see if I’ve gotten any messages and reply if necessary.
If I do have messages, I reply real quick and log off.  I obviously don’t expect the person to respond right away nor do I care.  The people that have significance in my life all know that Facebook is the last place to reach me if you’re looking for an immediate response.
This person that got me butthurt obviously isn’t one of those people because I responded yesterday morning to month old message he sent me.  I guess he had a problem with the time I sent it because he responded by telling me not to expect him to be up and on Facebook before a certain time in the morning.
That annoyed me a lot.  Maybe more than it should have but I’m going to chalk that up to these pesky hormones and being so close to having the new baby and the severe lack of sleep etc.
But anyway, besides all that, his response annoyed me because in my message I did mention that I have a toddler and about to have another one.  So in my mind, those facts combined with the fact that I have mentioned several times that I rarely have time to be online anymore (and even then, it’s  very limited time) would tell him that I would never expect him to be available and that I don’t have time to Facebook chat.
At first it only bothered me a little because I thought he was an 11 or 12 year old kid whose feelings I didn’t want to hurt too bad.  But then when I went to unfriend him, I saw that he’s 20 years old. Considering I’m barely 9 years older than that, I felt a bit alone.  I of course, I usually do when faced with immature adults.
I know not everyone has the same ideas of what online etiquette is but knowing that didn’t keep me from feeling butthurt about it.  That’s another thing I’m working on.
But when I have moments like tha, I always feel really alone afterwards.  Like I’m the only person in the world who has these problems.  As unrealistic as I know that is, I still get frustrated and end up beating myself up asking myself, “Why can’t I just be normal?” I remind myself that disagreeing with people is part of life.  In fact, it’s a huge part of life.  And it’s a part, I’m not good at handling.  I know I can get better at it.  I just need to keep working at it and give myself patience.
In the meantime, I need to work on handling those feelings of being alone in a struggle that is mine and no one else’s.
And I am working on it.  And as I find tactics and coping methods that work for me, I’ll be sharing them with all of you here.  So, look forward to that.