[started sometime in March]
We need less victims and more advocates in this world.
To find out that they aren’t teaching certain aspects of the law relating to sexual assault in Harvard Law school to avoid triggering any possible victims in the class was an infuriating blow for me.
So, basically, if I were to get raped again, my lawyer might not have the knowledge necessary to bring the assailant to justice because some girl just might have a breakdown during class?
What happened to inner strength? What happened to teaching our children to overcome adversity rather than lean on it as a crutch to make sure people feel sorry for them?
What ever happened to making sure the victims know that by becoming bitter, angry, constantly frightened or giving up any part of themselves, they’re giving the monster exactly what they wanted.
Honestly, I have always asked myself, how is anyone else supposed to feel sorry for what happened if I’m doing it all for them? I’ve come across a lot of woman victims of rape that were angry, mean-spirited, vindictive and then when they’ve pissed someone off with their attitude, then they bring up what happened to them. It’s as if, they’re using it as both a sword and shield. Almost as if, they’re using it as a way to get the other person to stop arguing with them and just feel sorry for them.
Let me tell you. Surviving a violent sexual assault is not a badge of honor. It’s not like being a war hero. No one is going to look at you with a sense of pride and sorrow the way they look at war veterans with PTSD. In fact, when you wear your victimization from what happened to you, people never look at you the way you want them too. It’s always pity, or disgust. Some people look at you like you must be a lying whore who just didn’t get what she wanted. Some people look at you like you’re telling the truth but trying to milk it to get sympathy. And some people just look at you and feel sorry for you. And feeling
Rapists aren’t just looking to get laid. In fact, there’s research out there that proves sex is rarely the motive behind the act.
What they’re really trying to do is take from you your sense of self and security. They want to hurt you. They want to break your spirit. They saw something in you that was wonderful, bright and to them, unobtainable, so they decided to take it from you instead of trying to acquire it for themselves. This is just one of many lies that leads people to seeking to hurt others.
We all have light within us. But these people live in the falsity that they don’t have it, that they can’t have it and that no one else deserves to have it either. And from there, their thinking becomes more and more warped in countless possible directions all leading away from the light. This is how they end up committing the acts they do. This is how they end up raping. It all boils down to lies and darkness. The Misery Loves Company principle.
So, when this person, shrouded in darkness and lies, rapes someone, they’re essentially trying to pull that person into the darkness with them. So, when after the fact, we go from being positive and optimistic to pessimistic and fearful, we’ve allowed that person to succeed. And they don’t deserve that. YOU don’t deserve that. And in turn, no one else deserves that either.
Live your truth. Don’t let anyone take that from you. Wounds don’t have mean the end of you.