I watched the season finale of Project Runway: Threads and was pissed at them choosing the winner they chose.

Okay, pissed isn’t the right word for it because I wasn’t actually pissed.  But that’s the word I used when I tweeted about it.  And apparently that girl saw my tweet and got very upset.  She even responded.

And I could tell by her words that this little girl was spoiling for a fight but I knew why.  My words hurt her feelings and she felt the need to defend herself.  In fact, she even went so far as to make a passive aggressive jab at me.

She succeeded in getting under my skin not because of what she said, but because I was disappointed that the confidence boost she was supposed to get from having won the competition wasn’t enough to keep a nobody’s words like mine from chipping her armor.

It made me sad to think that instead of just brushing it off like, “She’s a nobody from BFE.  What does she know about fashion?  In fact, I’m not even going to dignify her petty statement with a response.” she was more like, “Find something better to do with your time. Than criticizing a 16 year old girl.”  To which I thought, “You’re a big TV star and up and coming fashion designer.  You already have better things to do than argue with rude strangers on the internet at 5 in the morning.  Go do that stuff instead.”  But instead, I corrected her word usage (I edited the quote using the word she meant to use instead) and apologized for saying what I thought out loud.

And sure, I should never have to apologize for exercising my freedom of speech in a way that doesn’t infringe on the rights of others but I wasn’t apologizing for what I said.  I apologized for the manner and format in which I said them.

She is yet another person who, like me, struggles with depression and anxiety on a daily basis.  My mistake was thinking that because she’s winning her battle a lot better than I ever have so far to the point where she’s actually accomplishing something and actually going places in her life, that my words couldn’t possibly affect her.

What I didn’t take into consideration is that successful or not, talented or not, she’s still a kid and kids don’t have as thick of skin as much older adults who have been weathered and beaten by what the world can dish out.  I remember myself at that age, I slept all the time, dropped out of school and every time I slept, I wished I wouldn’t wake up again.
It’s got to be hard enough going through all of that and still being able to maintain one’s drive and passion for something.

So, yeah.  I learned something today.  She had said she would hope I would practice what I preach.  I preach honesty.  Hell, I don’t preach at all.  I’m like that guy in front of you in the bike race who didn’t hear the guy in front of me yell out “Hole!” and fell right in.  As I see you riding up, I hobble over to it with my busted bike and wave and yell, “Hole!  I already fell in it!  Go around!”
Sure, I may get criticized about having fell in the first place, but the least I can do is try to ward more people from falling in the same hole.

Anyway, basically I’m saying two things in this.  One: don’t listen to critics and don’t respond to them.  They’ll always be there. By responding to them, you’re validating their statement. They’re not worth your time and unless you’ve committed some kind of criminal act, they’re words are most likely coming from a place inside of them they’re not pleased with about themselves.  Basically, if their words don’t include something you can take from it and use to build yourself up and improve yourself, then they’re not worth listening to.

Two:  Think before you speak.  Not every thought needs to be shared with the world.  Be mindful of what you say and how you say it.  Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you have to broadcast it to the world.  And if you do, that doesn’t mean the world has to accept what you have to say.  There will be butthurt.  There will be disagreements.  There will be people who will tell you you’re wrong.  Get over yourself.