I’m a very giving person. I love to help people, uplift them and share positive energy with them. It literally pains me to be unkind to anyone or tell someone ‘no’ when they ask me for something. In fact, this is exactly the reason why I’ve found myself taken advantage of and held back most of my life.
But as I’m faced with my impending parenthood, I’ve have done a lot of thinking and soul searching and found that it’s not always a good idea to be so giving and kindness can be the strongest weapon.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “Kill ’em with kindness.” and we usually think that means, when someone is being mean to you, be kind in return because that will burn them up more than stooping to their level and retaliating. But there are some people out there that take that a different way.
There are people out there that for unknown reasons will take your kindness and use it against you. It’s more than just taking advantage of your kindness. It’s more a form of manipulation.
If you’re thinking, I sound like I’m speaking from experience, you’re absolutely right. I am. Not only have I been there, I’ve seen it happen to so many others.
See, when I was a kid, it was my entire family that did this. My mother and father thought that by paying the utility bills, that meant I should be grateful for that and not bother them with my “little kid sh*t” when I would try and talk to them about the bullies at school. Or that I shouldn’t want new shoes that don’t give me a fungal infection. Or it’d be like, “Hey, I just bought your school supplies. Now eat a dick. (no really, on your knees b*tch and pay up).” Yeah I know T.M.I. but that’s life for you. It can get pretty ugly.
Then there are the people I’ve seen from a third-person perspective. The things people have thought they had the nerve to get away with just because they did something kind the week before.
It’s like, in their minds, if they bought a kid a candy bar, that is the same as paying a fee to cover kicking that kid in the shin.
Of course, they don’t do this to just anyone. They’re drawn to naturally kind and generous people. The people who subscribe to the “kill ’em with kindness” method. The kind of people who strive to remain the bigger person no matter what. These are the only kinds of people they target because they’re the only kind they stand a higher chance of getting whatever they want.
Now, what do we do when we realize that’s what’s happening to us? Well, it’s simple; we cut them off. And yes, I know that sounds soooo easy, right? Trust me I know, far easier said than done for us kind-hearted people. But that’s what needs to be done.
If not, these people will simply suck the life out of you through your kindness. And you know what I’m talking about. Those people that make you feel tired just seeing them coming. Or makes you feel deflated just seeing their name on the caller ID. That’s why you feel that way. They’re literally sucking the life out of you and it’s not okay.
I’ll say that again. That is not okay.
If you truly want to give to the world and truly help others in need, then the first step is to stop giving what we have to those who don’t need or deserve it.
Think of it this way; if you give your last $20 to that selfish person for whatever reason they give you, then you don’t have anything to give to the guy at the gas station who’s bumming for gas money to get home (just as an example).
These kind of people are the kind who are running the world. That’s why there are so many people starving, homeless, destitute, morally and emotionally bankrupt, the list goes on. We as a whole have become so drained by the selfishness, mean-spiritedness, evil, greed and straight up corruption that for decades we became too tired to stand up and fight for the greater good. But there’s a phenomenon occurring. People are waking up. Like the phoenix rising from the ashes, kindness, positive energy and love have returned to reclaim its seat of power in this world.
Just remember, if we continue to dump all of our time, energy and power into the black hole of greed and destruction, then we won’t have anything left to give to those who really need it.