I find it appropriate that Mother’s Day falls on Sunday. I can promise you that I didn’t plan it this way when I decided to start Suck-It-Up Sunday posts, it just worked out perfectly that way. And that’s why this week’s Suck-It-Up Sunday is to those of us who have or had a lousy mother. I know that Mother’s Day is usually the day, we all pretend like just because a woman gave birth, that she’s suddenly above reproach and can do no wrong. Wrong!
There are tons of so called mother’s out there who should never have been allowed to reproduce, but they did, and that child has to pay the price, right? Not entirely. See, I had a lousy mother. She wasn’t as bad as some of the others I’ve seen but I could’ve done without the mental and emotional abuse and control factors and the use of god as a manipulation tool etc, but you know what? I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for her and the same can be said for every other person on the planet.
If you’re like me and had one of those mothers you’ve fantasized about punching in the face more than once as a child, then I know you probably don’t want to hear that, let alone admit it. But that’s why the purpose of Suck-It-Up Sunday is to suck it the f*ck up and not let our past (whether it be last week, last year, last night, or what have you), control our present.
Take me for example. I’m 26 and could be doing a lot better in life but I’m not. Mostly due to being entirely too nice to the wrong people and not learning from my own mistakes. But then the rest is due to refusing to let go of my past and stop letting it control my present and redirect my future. Where was my mom at my age? She was on her own. Pregnant with me. Both my brothers in tow. Got her own car. No need for roommates to help her out. She was doing pretty okay. Of course, all that started heading downhill from there. Instead of telling myself, “Hey, my mom’s life may have gone downhill at this age, but mine can start heading uphill.” I’ve squandered the first half of the year since my birthday wallowing in feelings of “woe is me” and whining like a little bitch about how my mother never taught me anything. Well, I’m sorry, that’s not going to get anyone anywhere and never will. The worst part is when you do it and you don’t even realize that’s what you’re doing. And believe me, if I hadn’t been in such denial and realized just how pathetic I was acting sooner, I would’ve put an end to that a long time ago.
And that’s why I’m writing this today….tonight…… Okay, so I’m posting this incredibly late, sorry. I’m mostly nocturnal damnit. Sue me.
So remember, whether your mom is your best friend, seems out of touch, doesn’t seem to care, cares too much, isn’t around, or around so much you’re dying for breathing room, you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her. And whether she is a good or bad example, you can still learn so much from her, even if it’s what not to do. There is something positive to be learned from even the darkest most negative situations even if it doesn’t seem like it right away or until after it’s over. You just have to be willing to see it. I just realized that. I hope you find the positive as well.