I’m on the receiving end of an abusive relationship right now. And if he knew I was putting this out there like this, he’d probably kill me.
He didn’t used to be this way. When I knew him before. At least, that’s what I thought. I just found out from him today, that he was bad even back then. I don’t know what to do. I have made several half-hearted attempts to leave but I just know that if he really wants to change, he will. When he stops bullshitting himself, he’ll stop. When he’s finally able to accept responsibility he’ll stop. But it won’t until then. I really want to help him. I know that if I stay with him, while he’s like this, then at least he’s not doing it to somebody else. I don’t know how to help him. I’d really like to. I really would. I hate to see anyone I love, this angry. This, rageful that they can’t be happy at all. It’s not fair to them or anyone else around them.
I’m just rambling now. I’m sorry. I’m just so hurt and angry with myself for putting up with so much. I just really want to help him get help.